if it's not Scottish, It's crap.

Debatable. But, Scotland is the origin of golf and full of spectacular links courses, and St. Andrews is the “Home of Golf.” After surviving a few nasty pot bunkers at St. Andrews (don’t think you can pull off 72 holes without visiting one of these little devils like Tiger Woods did en route to the Open championship), take scenic day trips to Royal Troon, Prestwick, Turnberry, Royal Dornoch, Carnoustie, and a Pete Dye favorite, Cruden Bay. If you can interpret three words or more from any sentence that comes out of a local’s mouth, you are a better man than I.

Remember, a true Scotsman never wears anything under his kilt. This does not apply to visiting Americans.